the kingdom of i don't care

there is a kingdom of i don't care

it really exists everywhere

in the kingdom of i don't care

there is no sympathy anywhere

you aren't feeling very well

no sympathy no matter who you tell

you think you might be losing your mind

no sympathy of any kind

the dog is sick

they don't give a lick

you're worried about this or that

they don't really have time to chat

everyday seems a day to dread

no one hears a word you've said

in the kingdom of i don't care

there is no sympathy anywhere

A COLD DAY OF THOUGHTS

TODAY I AM TYPING IN CAPITALS. IT DOESN'T MEAN I AM YELLING AS THE CYBER-SPACE CONTINGENT HAS INFORMED ME. IT MEANS THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE HITTING SHIFT WHEN CAPITALS ARE ACTUALLY NEEDED AND AVOIDS THAT GUILTY FEELING I GET WHEN I DON'T CAPITALIZE WHEN IT IS NECESSARY. TALK ABOUT WEIRD AND ABNORMAL PHOBIAS. OH WELL, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT WHEN YOU ARE TAUGHT SOMETHING IT GRABS HOLD OF YOUR BRAIN WITH A VENGEANCE. NOW THERE IS A THOUGHT; WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG AND YOU ARE BEING EDUCATED THE LESSONS ARE REPEATED OVER AND OVER UNTIL THEY SEEM TO BE HARDWIRED INTO YOUR BRAIN. DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT MAYBE YOUNG CHILDREN BEING EXPOSED TO VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL VISIONS ON TELEVISION AND VIDEO GAMES ON A CONSTANT BASIS MIGHT BE HAVING SOMETHING TOTALLY EVIL HARDWIRED INTO THEIR BRAINS? I NEVER USED TO FEEL THIS WAY BUT LATELY I HAVE WITNESSED BEHAVIOR AND LISTENED TO TALK FROM YOUNGER PEOPLE THAT SUGGESTS THE TRUTH OF THIS MATTER. AND WHY ARE SO MANY VIDEO GAMES BASED ON VIOLENCE? WHAT IS THE DRAW? WHY HAVE WE STOPPED STRIVING FOR THE HIGHER GROUND, FOR THE BETTER PARTS OF OURSELVES,FOR THE SOFTER PARTS OF OURSELVES? WHAT FEAR HAS IMPOSED ITSELF UPON US TO MAKE US GIVE UP ON THE IDEA OF A SHANGRAI-LA EXISTENCE WHERE PEACE AND HARMONY EXIST. WHERE MANKIND THRIVES AND GROWS WHILE CARING FOR EACH OTHER LIKE WE WERE ALL ONE. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MAN? WHEN DID WE REVERT TO ANIMAL. NO MATTER HOW TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED WE HAVE BECOME, SPIRITUALLY WE ARE STARTING TO REVERT TO THE DARK AGES. I AM NOT TALKING GOD HERE PEOPLE BECAUSE THAT IS JUST A LABEL. I AM TALKING INNER SPIRITUALITY WHERE THE TRUTH EXISTS. WHERE WE KNOW THAT VIOLENCE BEGETS VIOLENCE AND WE KNOW THAT HATE BEGETS HATE AND WE TRULY KNOW THAT WE ARE ONE SOUL BOUND TOGETHER. THE HARM WE DO TO EACH OTHER IS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE AS WE ARE TRULY ONE. MAN IS BEING SEIZED BY AN EVIL; AN EVIL THAT IS PERVASIVE AND STRONG. I FEEL THAT EVIL EVERYDAY, WITHIN MYSELF AS WELL AS AROUND ME. I AM AFRAID.

conversations

I remember a time when I could sit with my little boy and talk and talk and think this boy has a mind that is looking for answers. I knew I wouldn't be able to give him answers because I have always looked for them too. I tried to give him thoughts to roll around in his mind to maybe help him find his own answers. I truly believe there are not specific answers to the questions we all have about life. That there are only answers specific to ourselves and we and we alone are the ones that have to find them. It would be so much easier if there were specific answers and we could be comfortable taking those answers and living life accordingly. It could very well be that there are specific answers and I am just unable to comprehend the rights and wrongs of life. I don't really know; I can only know how I think and feel. I can listen and ponder what others tell me but in the end, how and when I use what I have heard,is essentially an answer I have come up with, making it my answer and mine only. Even if the answer is very very similar to someone else's answer it is still stamped with my interpretation of how things are and should be, thus making it unique and mine. I am not sure if this makes any sense but then again there comes into play the uniqueness that makes up each individual. I can only hope that my son someday understands that we are all looking for answers and that all the answers that are found have some merit even if they don't look like the ones he has found.

The Strange Feeling You Get Seeing Your Own Words In Print

Wow, I have such and ego problem. Normally low self-esteem dogs me every day. Or does it? Sometimes I believe I falsely give the impression of low self-esteem so people do not realize how full of myself I am. I mean really; why am I on here blogging like anyone wants to read what I have to say. Or maybe I am just doing this to validate my existence; my thought process, myself really. I used to write in a journal and then I stopped. My journals became histories of my idiosyncrasies that seemed to haunt me. When I can think and type my thoughts come faster and seem to release emotions that I keep pent up on a normal basis. But back to that strange feeling. I sit here and write, rambling most of the time. Then when I read things that I have written; I think wow there I am right there for everyone to see. And because it is in print for some reason I feel more real than I normally do. You see; sometimes I don't feel real. Sometimes I don't feel like I really exist. Odd huh?