A COLD DAY OF THOUGHTS

TODAY I AM TYPING IN CAPITALS. IT DOESN'T MEAN I AM YELLING AS THE CYBER-SPACE CONTINGENT HAS INFORMED ME. IT MEANS THAT I DON'T FEEL LIKE HITTING SHIFT WHEN CAPITALS ARE ACTUALLY NEEDED AND AVOIDS THAT GUILTY FEELING I GET WHEN I DON'T CAPITALIZE WHEN IT IS NECESSARY. TALK ABOUT WEIRD AND ABNORMAL PHOBIAS. OH WELL, IT JUST GOES TO SHOW THAT WHEN YOU ARE TAUGHT SOMETHING IT GRABS HOLD OF YOUR BRAIN WITH A VENGEANCE. NOW THERE IS A THOUGHT; WHEN YOU ARE YOUNG AND YOU ARE BEING EDUCATED THE LESSONS ARE REPEATED OVER AND OVER UNTIL THEY SEEM TO BE HARDWIRED INTO YOUR BRAIN. DOES ANYONE ELSE THINK THAT MAYBE YOUNG CHILDREN BEING EXPOSED TO VIOLENCE AND SEXUAL VISIONS ON TELEVISION AND VIDEO GAMES ON A CONSTANT BASIS MIGHT BE HAVING SOMETHING TOTALLY EVIL HARDWIRED INTO THEIR BRAINS? I NEVER USED TO FEEL THIS WAY BUT LATELY I HAVE WITNESSED BEHAVIOR AND LISTENED TO TALK FROM YOUNGER PEOPLE THAT SUGGESTS THE TRUTH OF THIS MATTER. AND WHY ARE SO MANY VIDEO GAMES BASED ON VIOLENCE? WHAT IS THE DRAW? WHY HAVE WE STOPPED STRIVING FOR THE HIGHER GROUND, FOR THE BETTER PARTS OF OURSELVES,FOR THE SOFTER PARTS OF OURSELVES? WHAT FEAR HAS IMPOSED ITSELF UPON US TO MAKE US GIVE UP ON THE IDEA OF A SHANGRAI-LA EXISTENCE WHERE PEACE AND HARMONY EXIST. WHERE MANKIND THRIVES AND GROWS WHILE CARING FOR EACH OTHER LIKE WE WERE ALL ONE. WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MAN? WHEN DID WE REVERT TO ANIMAL. NO MATTER HOW TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED WE HAVE BECOME, SPIRITUALLY WE ARE STARTING TO REVERT TO THE DARK AGES. I AM NOT TALKING GOD HERE PEOPLE BECAUSE THAT IS JUST A LABEL. I AM TALKING INNER SPIRITUALITY WHERE THE TRUTH EXISTS. WHERE WE KNOW THAT VIOLENCE BEGETS VIOLENCE AND WE KNOW THAT HATE BEGETS HATE AND WE TRULY KNOW THAT WE ARE ONE SOUL BOUND TOGETHER. THE HARM WE DO TO EACH OTHER IS SELF-DESTRUCTIVE AS WE ARE TRULY ONE. MAN IS BEING SEIZED BY AN EVIL; AN EVIL THAT IS PERVASIVE AND STRONG. I FEEL THAT EVIL EVERYDAY, WITHIN MYSELF AS WELL AS AROUND ME. I AM AFRAID.

just another day

Sitting here wondering why I am even writing anything. Maybe just so I will realize I still can. Anyway the brownies are in the oven and the smell is quite pleasant. Since I can acknowledge that something is pleasant I guess I am okay. Yes once again I am spiraling into my own world of angst. Where everything means nothing and nothing means everything. Where I cannot feel and yet feel too much. There is a sense of unbalance and uncomfortableness. I feel alone yet surrounded by so many that there is a pressure both from the outside and the inside. I am unrecognized as myself always an extension of someone elses needs, wants, perceptions. Yet I am almost sure that it is my own perception of myself and the world around me that is askew. I believe that I am crying out for help and don't really believe that there is any help to be found. For if I cannot define what the problem is how can anyone know what to do to help. Always there is the question that has no answer. It just is.
Ah, I believe I have found the problem and the answer all in one. It just is.

A Moment of Peace

As I gaze at the flowering vine
adorning the dark green tree,
An unlooked for sense of peace
suddenly comes over me.
All the many things that
have been troubling my mind;
You know what things,
the annoying, irritating kind.
They seem to fade away
for a tiny little while.
And while they are gone,
I remember once again how to smile.

Let's Make Something

Let's make something; that's what I say
Let's make something; let's make it today
We'll take wood, maybe paper and maybe some yarn
We'll take wire, or glass, or something to darn
Anything we find can become something new
Perhaps we shall paint it purple, green, maybe blue
There is no limit to what we can make
It doesn't matter how long it might take
For when we make something that is so unique
Into our souls we give you a peek
So come join us today and have a ball
Let's make something I say; one and all

An invitation to gallery of artists(meaning anyone)
Which I would have if I were rich

YOU DON'T ACT THE WAY I EXPECT YOU TO
AND IT MAKES ME MAD
YOU DON'T THINK OF ME THE WAY I WANT YOU TO
AND IT MAKES ME SAD
YET HOW COULD YOU ACT AND THINK THAT WAY
HOW ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO KNOW
YET HOW COULD YOU REALIZE THAT IT'S ALL WRONG
UNLESS I TELL YOU SO
WHY CAN'T I OPEN UP MY MOUTH AND SPEAK
AND TELL YOU WHAT I NEED
NO I JUST SIT HERE ALONE AND SULLEN
AFRAID MY WORDS YOU WON'T HEED
WHY DON'T I LET YOU BE YOURSELF
AND GIVE ME WHAT YOU CAN
WHY DON'T I BE YOUR LOVING LADY
AND YOU MY LOVING MAN

The Opening Among the Trees

There is an opening among the trees

behind the place I work

There is an opening among the trees

where the fairy folk do lurk

As I peer into the darkened path

among the deep green trees

As I peer into the darkened path

you wonder what she sees

Well let me tell you friend and foe

I see a wonderous land

Well let me tell you friend and foe

you will never understand

For down this darkened path

there is a place that's mine

For down this darkened path

there is a life so fine

The world I'd find there among the trees

is mine and mine alone

The world I'd find there among the trees

does not exist you moan

Well let me tell you friend and foe

your words I will not hear

Well let me tell you friend and foe

it soon will all be clear

There is an opening among the trees

behind the place I work

There is and opening among the trees

where the fairy folk do lurk

a poem for danna

GROWING UP IS HARD TO DO

JUST AS HARD FOR ME AS YOU

YOU THINK WHEN YOU GET OLDER YOU ARE DONE

BUT THIS IS A BATTLE THAT IS NEVER WON

IT IS A PROCESS FOREVER ONGOING

IT CONTINUES WITHOUT US EVEN KNOWING

ENJOY EACH PART OF THE WONDER THAT GROWING BRINGS

GROWING UP AND OLDER WILLGIVE YOU WINGS

'WINGS TO FLY UP AND AWAY

WINGS TO FLY TO A WONDEROUS DAY