Exploding mouth syndrome

 The title Exploding mouth syndrome is what seems to be happening to me lately. Mostly I try, emphasis on try, to keep some of my thoughts and feelings inside my head. I think that by doing so I create so much pressure that they come flying out of my mouth at the smallest provocation. It is horrifying to me that it happens because I realize that sometimes the stuff I say is way too reactive to the situation. I usually apologize to whomever is the target which kind of negates my feelings and starts to create a new pressure build up. I sometimes try to let the thoughts and feelings out a little at a time through conversation but usually I feel like I am not being heard so I stop. Then wham my mouth explodes and a multitude of things are said that usually are not nice. Then the apology and the cycle starts anew. I liked it better when I could just keep pushing stuff to the back of my mind so no waves were made. Now when I feel something but don't say anything I literally feel like I am suffocating. Yet when I do say something I also feel like I am suffocating. This is why I constantly feel like I can't breathe.