Sunday, August 20, 2017
The Rest of My Life
I haven't been retired for even two full months and I am going stir crazy. I was so sick of working at the same job for almost thirty years and I thought I would love being home and doing things when I wanted. I do love being able to craft and do household chores without pressure but I get so bored. This is probably because not being a driving person I am stuck here unless I ask to go do something. We have done some fun stuff this summer but it just isn't enough. I am beginning to feel like I could just sleep all day and who would know, who would care. I am so bored with even doing the stuff I like to do because it really doesn't matter at all. And what a weird feeling to realize that you did a job for so long and you not being there doesn't matter either. All of this creates a sense of being so alone and I am not even alone. I have Rich but we really are so different that I still feel alone even with him. I have the kids but things have gotten so crazy that I feel like I failed as their mom. Right now I really just hate myself so much.
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