Dear Children

Dear children of mine,

As I sit here wasting time so the day does not stretch so long in front of me I wonder if you think of me. Since I have retired, only a month and a half now, I really haven't known what to do with myself. I guess I though maybe there would be more time spent as a family but this family has become so dis-functional or maybe just more dis-functional that this did not happen. Sometimes I feel so very alone and purposeless. I do not lay this upon you because you are all grown with lives of your own which means that purpose in my life is over. Still sometimes it feels like I am adrift with out the anchors of you. Maybe I had children too early in life, before I could figure out who I was so now that I am unfettered by your needs, don't ever believe that for a moment, I am lost. I am not even alone in this world for I am in a relationship but since that relationship started later in life it does not fulfill my need for a purpose. With or without me my partner would survive, I don't feel needed which should be a good thing for isn't it better to be wanted than needed. Still most days I feel like if I all of a sudden disappeared it would be a tiny blip on the lives around me quickly forgotten.