Time Off Doesn't Always Solve Work Angst

Yesterday was my first day back after six days off.  You would think that I would have been well rested and raring to go.  Well I wasn't well rested because I did yard work the day before.  I also did a ten hour day which I will be doing again today so I got kind of tired.  But I think the real issue is that I just don't enjoy the work like I used to.  I need to work like everyone else does so I just have to get my head around the idea that it is a job and not a recreation.  Still I think it is like everything else in my life there is just something missing.  Here's hoping that the day goes by quickly and that my feet hold out. Oh I forgot to mention that I have to go in early tomorrow because my man has to work and he is my only way to get to work; don't start til nine but will be there at six thirty. Oh joy!

Having Fun Can Hurt

Playing frisbee with the grandkids tires me out a lot easier these days.  Of course it doesn't help that they can't seem to get it to me as easily as I can get it to them.  Some times I can run for it but my knees don't like it. I definitely cannot jump for it, I never could jump easily, which was probably a sign that my knees would be bad as I got older. Then we did some kite flying which was very fun but the whole looking up thing is never good for my neck. When I tried to get the kite up again I had just run out of steam so the little run necessary to launch it was too much for me.  Just got to love getting older.  So today is the day after fun and this old grandma's body and head are not happy.  Such is life.

When You are Just Over It

When you have been taking care of someone for a long time because you felt like it was necessary and they never show any appreciation it is draining.  I wish I was the type of person to say well go ahead then, you are on your own.  Still when you feel that said person is not being realistic and there is a younger person involved what should you do.  I know I have gone about this all wrong but it is the only way I knew so I can't beat myself up about it. And yet, I am so over it.

Come on Girl, Don't Waste the Time Off

First day of a six day stretch of no work.  I was all set to get up early and maybe do some Wii exercising and crafting to get the vacation started but all I have done is sleep and eat so far.  I think I plan on doing to many things and then I am overwhelmed.  Or the so very cloudy day is holding me back.  Seriously, now I am blaming the clouds for my own issues.  Just need to cut myself some slack I guess because honestly who am I hurting by doing nothing, only myself and I just need to be okay with it.  I still have a big part of the day so I am going to try to motivate myself.  Put on some music and turn on the overhead light and do stuff.  Hmmm, maybe get out the sewing machine and make my rainbow blanket.  Rainbow blanket you ask? Well I bought a bunch of scarves on sale of all colors and I am going to sew them together to make a rainbow blanket.  Or I actually see it hanging on a rope outside as an encouragement to painting this summer. I'm late, I'm late for a very important date. 

The Dangerous Lure of Dreaming

Since I have been having a hard time dealing with life this year; my dreams seems to grab hold of me and it is hard to force myself out of bed.  If it weren't for alarms and the fact that the human body will actually only stay asleep so long I could be tempted to just stay asleep forever. Dreams are like short stories, they catch your interest but are over before you tire of them.  Your brain is so full of information that there are endless possibilities for the creation of these snippets of interaction in the dreamworld and yet it seems like your consciousness is aware of the non-reality that is going on.  Thus there is no lasting effect of whatever dream you have.  If you are dreaming something that starts to feel too real or is upsetting, you wake a bit, turn over and basically change the channel.  There are times when the dream is insistent though and that is probably a message come from the reality inside your head.  Unfortunately I can't seem to figure anything out either in real life or in dreams so those insistent dreams are not my favorite.  

Fall Time Is Here

It is almost the middle of October and finally the leaves are starting to really get some color.  I need to get a move on and

start some fall and Halloween decorating done.  I don't have the urge quite as much as previous years but I still will get it done since the grandkids kind of expect it.  I do wish accessing the decorations wasn't quite so difficult but wishing doesn't get the job done.  So within the next week or so I hope to get some decorating done and to find enjoyment in the season.

A Walk Can Ease The Heavy Load

I took a walk into the woods one day
A path away from the busy road
I was looking to find a way
To relieve my heavy mental load
My mind was full of what and whys
Emotions fighting to be free
The days were filled with sadness and sighs
I didn't seem to know what was wrong with me
I came upon a clearing filled with light
No sounds from the road did I hear
This place it just felt so right
Like a voice telling me not to fear
I gazed upon this gift from nature
Soaking up the light and pretty sounds
My mental load has eased I'm sure
Because of this place I found