My world has gone to a strange shade of gray. Not totally without color but yet not showing any sign of the intensity of a colorful life. Nothing major is the reason for this and it may be just my perceptions of things. I am after all no longer a young woman nor am I yet an elderly woman. I am something in between which might be the reason for the gray. No longer where I once was yet not quite where I will be just here. Here in a place that confuses me and makes me hide. Hide from the memories of youth that I long for; hide from the fear of age that I dread. Leaving me without the ability to live my life at this moment to the fullest thus wasting the precious minutes I have been given. Yes I am aware that this self-pity and fear and lethargy is wasting the small amount of time I have been allotted in this world yet I do not know how to shake this angst. I pray for some sign or a jolt of energy to help me in this time of gray.