feeling empty at the start of the year

So I haven't been writing lately and I'm not sure why I am doing it now.
Just the fact that I am doing anything but laying in bed trying not think is
amazing. I ended the old year being pissy because I wanted to be doing something
I am not sure what. I just didn't want to be bored like I always seem to be. My
mother would tell me there is no reason to be bored, find something to do. That's
just the thing; there are things to do but they don't appeal to me or my brain
doesn't see the sense in doing them. It feels so weird and I can't shake this cloud
of blah that descends on me coloring my world a hazy gray. I feel like I am dead
but forgot to die. I am lost and am not sure if I want to be found or left to fade away.
I hate writing this stuff because I feel stupid and pathetic. There are people with
real problems and when I put this stuff down in words I feel like a crybaby.
What a way to start the New Year. I hope this feeling goes away soon.