Yet Another Day In This Never Ending Spiral Down Into Nothingness

Once again I had to force myself to get up. I woke up around eight and got a bowl of cereal, climbed back into bed to finish a story I was reading last night. Got a cup of tea to finish the story with and then curled up in bed with the intention to stay there for awhile. It just seems crazy to rush to start a day that will as usual make me feel like it really doesn't matter what I do or don't do. I guess it is lucky that my body just won't let me wallow in that bed, it is always saying to me that this laying down isn't comfortable, just get up. I also have been having dreams that make me uncomfortable so when I do try to linger in bed the thought is in my mind that I will return to said dreams so my brain insists that I get up. The problem is that when I do get up I feel just so exhausted with life. I have showered, started some laundry, eaten once again. Though seriously I wish I could stop with the eating, I have never been this heavy in my life. The bed is made, I perused Facebook as usual though seriously not sure why. Checked the bank balance, definitely not a way to make myself feel better. Peeked at Pinterest, once again not sure why, what magic am I looking for? The laundry is calling to be put in the dryer and a huge pile of dishes is waiting to be taken care of. All items to tick of the hours of the day until it is time to sleep, wake, and do it again. If I believed in God I would ask him to just grant me the ability to feel joy in things, not this every growing sense of dissatisfaction that is eating at my brain and making me into a person that even I don't want to be with.