I Am Alone in My Musings

I am afraid. Afraid of dying for the first time ever. No, I should rephrase that, I am afraid of death for the first time but I have always been afraid of the dying process. Death used to mean transition to me not an ending. That was when I believed in things. Things like God and then when the concept of God became an illogical idea, things like spiritual energy and other-worldly existence and continuance. However, as of late I seem to have lost all belief in anything I cannot see or touch. This leaves me alone and adrift and frightened. I wouldn't even know who to talk to about this or how. Part of me really really wants someone or something to make me believe. Make me believe in a fantastical afterlife, make me believe that those gone before are somewhere to reunite with, make me believe that the me that I am will continue but happier and better than the me that I am, make me believe that Death is not a period at the end of life. I want someone or something to make me believe. Make me believe that there is a power to help in times of strife, a power to rejoice in times of joy, a power to feel my pain, my fear, and my confusion. Make me believe even if it is a fairy tale for fairy tales used to be my favorite stories.