When your age asserts itself

Woke up this morning feeling like heck. I am not surprised though. Last night at work I sorted our shipment of goods and some of those boxes are extremely heavy. By the time I was done my wrists, shoulders, neck and back were killing me. I seriously think that part of the job is getting beyond my comfort zone. Oh I can do it but the result is feeling like heck the next day. I woke up with a headache and it is still here. This is probably the result of strain on my neck from lifting and balancing the heavy boxes. It would be okay if I could just pull them off the stack and not have to lift them back up but there is only so much room. I really hate doing something and the whole while my brain is saying there is going to come a time when this is not going to be possible. Something happened to my wrists a while back and now I really can't hold or lift anything heavy with my hands where my wrists have to maintain stability. To take off the pressure on my wrists I use my shoulder to balance boxes until I can't get them down and that just wrecks my shoulder. Geez I am a mess.

A shower curtain rod is not to be used as a closet

Well the shower curtain rod told me today that I was misusing it. As I was attempting to push things to the side to gain some room to hang clothes to dry there was a crash and a thump and the clothes shower curtain rod and anything in the path hit the floor. I have repaired the rod and put the shower curtain back up but I have no idea what I will do with the clothes that are piled on the bed. There just isn't any room for them so I will probably just pile them somewhere else until I figure it out. It is all just too much for me so I am going to make a cup of coffee and a fluffernutter and not think about it.

Is he serious!

My son and I have been having some very serious issues. Issues that I never would have expected in my life. It has so thrown me for a loop but I am trying to survive it. He wants nothing to do with me, he is mad about past events in our life, he treats me like crap. Yet, he expects me to do stuff for him and when that doesn't happen he shows up here out of the blue. He says, I have been texting you, and oh yeah the texts were to ask me to do stuff that he is quite capable of doing himself. I say, I know and of course I have been ignoring you. He mumbles something, I don't think he realizes I didn't hear him. He uses my bathroom and as he is leaving without saying another word I say did you have a delivery in the area. He says yeah and that was that. Seriously what was that? Was he checking to see if I was alive?

The days and weeks become a melted mass of nothing

Where have you gotten in life when a Thursday rolls around and your brain says hey weren't we just on a Thursday. Where have you gotten in life when no day is memorable enough to separate all of the other days and the week has just slid by. Oh things happen and things are done and you eat, sleep, wake, work, etc. etc. etc.. Maybe the issue is that most of the things that have happened within that week are either the same old same old or just so stressful that your mind skims by them or condenses them into a manageable bit. Sometimes when you drink too much an evening flies by like it never happened and most of the events don't register permanently on your brain. Sometimes life is like that.

What a slacker

I seriously thought when I did my last post that I would check in here and write something every time I got on the computer. Well of course that hasn't happened. My main activity lately seems to be playing games on Facebook. Even as I write that I feel like such a shmuck. Still, these games have a unique ability to just hook you in. I have been playing Farmville and Fishville for awhile now so they don't hold me as much as this new Cityville one. I can feel myself getting a bit bored already though with Cityville which is not a bad thing. I will still play probably every day or so but I won't stress about it. I wonder about the people who actually spend money to get things for these games. Is it really worth it and is it any worse than say spending money on scratch off tickets or buying magazines? I guess it is all in how you look at it. If playing these games is a main source of entertainment it would be no different than paying to rent a movie. So I say go for it to those who use real cash to get ahead in a virtual world. If it makes you happy and you are not harming anyone by doing it just go for it.

Deciding to just jot down my thoughts

I think I might just come on here every chance I get and just jot down my thoughts. It isn't that I think that my thoughts are important to anyone. It is just that maybe if I put them down in writing somewhere they will stop churning around inside my head. I am pretty sure there isn't enough room in there anymore. Life is pretty much the same, and that isn't saying anything good. A relative posted a comment on Facebook today that I think is quite true. Something about the person standing in the way of your happiness is probably the person looking back at you from the mirror. I think we all know this to be a fact but what to do about it is the problem. You can read all the self-help books and articles and they can make a lot of sense but in the end that little demon who is your psyche is the problem. Knowing what to do or at least knowing what everyone thinks you can and should do is one thing. Implementing this knowledge into your existence is another. I can choose to be happy and at peace? Really? Someone should really tell my brain that. I should just find my happy place? Really? I'm pretty sure it has been blown to smithereens. You know, I think that I am just in a negative place right now and it is something that I and those around me will have to accept and work around. Maybe putting the negativity down here will take the edge off. Who knows?