What is going on inside my head?

I am writing this just to clarify things inside my head. That is a difficult thing these days. I have been having a lot of trouble just dealing with life lately. I seem to want to sleep or just not move at all. The things I used to do to distract myself when I got anxious or irritated don't have the power they used to. This is maybe a sign that I need to meet things head on but I know I won't do that. It is not in my makeup. I have always been over the top with my emotions but I have always been able to reign them in eventually. Of course when my life was a bit more basic, what with young kids and all I was probably too busy to let this weirdness take hold. I know I probably could be busy with the grandchildren but I can't seem to get the energy that is required for that. There is a sense of disconnection that is ever growing. It is like when you walk through a spider-web and it sticks to you no matter how much you try to brush it away. It is like a creeping fungus that persists on taking over no matter what methods you use to rid yourself of it. It is very hard to describe this sense of disconnection. Have you ever just had enough of these grownup problems so you try to lose yourself in childhood or maybe just youthful memories? Those times that seemed so fun and effortless? When I remember events from my past that used to bring a smile to my face or even a nostalgic tear, it feels like I am remembering someone else's life or maybe scenes from a book I have read. There is no real connection. It is very scary. It is almost like waking from amnesia with memories but your emotions cannot connect to those memories. I keep telling myself , snap out of it Jackie but it isn't working so far. Now I am not writing this to worry anyone, just to put it in print so it isn't just another thought rolling around in my head trying to control me. I will work it all out I am sure. I always seem to manage. Sleep is a bit of a problem. I either do too much of it or it eludes me. I can sleep solid for a couple of hours, wake and then it takes a long time to go back to sleep. The thoughts just won't shut up inside my head no matter what tricks I use. Then lo and behold I must fall asleep because I find myself waking from some strange dream. On the days I don't have to work I can sleep for way too long. The strange dreams call to me, they seem so much more real than life. Odd isn't it. Well enough of this venting on paper. Maybe some of these thoughts will leave me alone for awhile.