Today is not a good day. Then again everyday seems to not be a good day. It's all too much sometimes and I wish it would all go away. I wish I could be the person that makes it all right,that knows all the answers and that can lead the way. The fact is I'm not. I am as lost as a person could be and I want someone to show me the way or I really want the way to just appear like magic. I am scared all the time now; scared that it's all going to come to an end or maybe that isn't the word. It feels like an avalanche that started with a pebble so small but building so fast and now the mountainside is coming down. I feel like I am being buried under an avalanche of worry, regrets, fear, and an active dislike for myself. Sometimes, because I can't figure out how to make it all better and make it all work I want the darkness I feel on the edge of my life to close in and enfold me in the finality of the end.
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