I realize I only really write stuff here when I need to get negative feelings off my chest.
You see I don't really want to give them to the real people in my life and they can't really help anyway.
My life seems so unnecessary these days.
I get up every morning with the feeling of what is the sense.
I eat, drink coffee, make the bed and shower.
I do what ever chores need to be done though somethings get left by the wayside because of that what is the sense feeling.
I check social media like there will be magic there but as we all know there isn't.
Sometimes I walk to the store for a few things but all that does is remind me that I am older and tire easier and that things don't make you feel happier.
Sometimes I will create stuff, crafts, paintings or such.
But that also brings on the what the sense feeling. Making stuff to add to the stuff I have surrounding me.
I will show photos of my creations on social media expecting some magic I guess. Nope magic has fled my life.
I am disconnected. I am in a relationship but I have become angered because I feel disconnected.
I am angry at him for something he cannot help and I also feel bad that I am this way which makes me angrier and so very very sad.
So sad that I can't breathe.
So sad that I feel like I want to be sick.
I have family but yet still feel disconnected. Always afraid they will see how dark I am.
I am disconnected.
