Christmas and Sadness

This Christmas season is difficult. Life goes on even as we try to have a storybook holiday time. Why are we always trying to live a storybook life? Why is real life so hard that we spend so much time pretending that things are different? Bad things happen even when we are expecting the best of times. Death is as much a part of life as birth but it is much more trying. How to deal with the impending loss of a loved one at the time of year when you are expecting cheer. How to deal with the woes of loved ones when you are in no position to help. How to deal with your own feelings of inadequacy and what feels like a spiralling lack of control. The answer seems to be that we just push through everything that is happening. It all seems like an endurance test with no actually prize at the end. There is a sense of failure that permeates my brain. A sense of worthlessness. All because I can't control the fact that life is definitely not about happy ending. It is all just a mess.