Fall Time Is Here

It is almost the middle of October and finally the leaves are starting to really get some color.  I need to get a move on and

start some fall and Halloween decorating done.  I don't have the urge quite as much as previous years but I still will get it done since the grandkids kind of expect it.  I do wish accessing the decorations wasn't quite so difficult but wishing doesn't get the job done.  So within the next week or so I hope to get some decorating done and to find enjoyment in the season.

A Walk Can Ease The Heavy Load

I took a walk into the woods one day
A path away from the busy road
I was looking to find a way
To relieve my heavy mental load
My mind was full of what and whys
Emotions fighting to be free
The days were filled with sadness and sighs
I didn't seem to know what was wrong with me
I came upon a clearing filled with light
No sounds from the road did I hear
This place it just felt so right
Like a voice telling me not to fear
I gazed upon this gift from nature
Soaking up the light and pretty sounds
My mental load has eased I'm sure
Because of this place I found

Mother's Day and Other Holidays

I am no longer a big fan of holidays.  I used to love the excuse to do special things and go visiting but now holidays are just another thing I have to figure out.  What do we do, how do we do it, where do we go, who goes, who needs transportation, how long does it last, how much is it going to cost, are there going to be bad feelings and disappointments. I do not perceive life in a happy form of mind anymore. Anytime I try something comes along and knocks the happy right out of my mind. I want to be a duck and let stuff just run off my back but I am not a duck.  I am a sponge and when I absorb happy and bad, the happy runs out like the water and the bad clings like the dirt.  I am a nasty used sponge.

Letting Someone Down

When you have to be the one to end childhood beliefs it kind of stinks.  I am the grandma and I shouldn't have to be the one to keep up appearances for holiday beliefs.  I have been there and done that and now I just want to be the grandma. How old is old enough anyway for a child to not believe in Santa or the Easter Bunny or even the Tooth Fairy for goodness sake.  I don't remember anyone ever actually telling me the truth; I just figured it out but didn't make a big deal about it.  I have never been able to actually say to my own kids that there is no Santa etc and I don't want to actually say it to my grandson but it is hard to come up with other ways to let him know that he should let it go and lately my tongue just wants to let loose. I will just have to stay busy to avoid saying anything that I will regret.