Even if you want to move you sometimes need to upgrade

I Just Don't Know What to Do

Sometimes there doesn't feel like I make any forward movement in life. I make decisions based on impulses and then try to make a go of the situation. I don't make decisions because I am afraid it is an impulsive thought trying to get through and still try to make a go of it.  I do believe that I am incapable of getting control of my life because I expect it all to just happen. I don't want to deal with the hard stuff.  Oh I make it look like I am being the strong one, getting things done and doing the right thing. Yet all am really doing is avoiding the hard stuff. How do you know what is the right thing to do?  After all I have learned that in life there are no take backs.  You make a decision, thought out or impulsive, and you have to take the consequences.  Do you just do what you feel?  Do you just do what you want?  Do you just keep on doing what you are doing and hope it is right?  It is all so stressful that it makes you not want to do anything at all.  Just curl up in a ball and stop being.  I would like to be able to just pretend that all is good.  When the thoughts of things not being right come along, I would like to be able to shake them off with ease and just live.  When I get frustrated I would like to take a breath and just get over it.  When I get irritated at something or someone I would like to close my eyes, put on a smile and let it go. I would like happy to come back to live with me but I am not sure it ever really has. Just because the story isn't going like I planned I would like to have the discipline to keep on with it. After all you never know what might be in the next chapter.  Please help me not to end one story prematurely to jump into another one that might be even less satisfying. No story is perfect.