Holidays can break the shell

Some of us surround ourselves with a shell invisible to others. A shell that helps us survive from day to day and get a bit of enjoyment out of life once in awhile. This shell keeps our intense feelings from exploding out and causing others stress. This shell deflects and or absorbs the things in life that make us want to scream, cry, or lash out. The shell wears thin and it is a constant struggle to add layers to it for our and others preservation. Holiday time is a busy, crazy stressful time. Expectations run high and rarely met. This is a time when the shell that surrounds us takes a beating, wearing thin in places and most likely cracking in several more. When this happen all of the stuff the shell has been keeping out gets in and the stuff it has been keeping in gets out. It is never pretty. Here's to hoping the shell holds this Holiday season.

While You Sleep

As I lay here with my eyes open wide
As you lay there at my side
There is a wall growing between us two
There is a wall invisible to you
Every minute that goes by in this way
Every minute that in silence we lay
Is a moment taken from our life
Is a moment that cuts like a knife
My eyes close upon this thought
You sleep while this battle is fought

Just deal with it for heaven's sake!

As I sit here putzing around on the computer before work a lump lodges itself in my throat and chest. Life is so full of issues and most people face them and either resolve them, rail against them, or move away from them. Lately I just try to live around them like they are piles of clutter that I will get to later. The piles just grow larger and less stable and it probably won't belong before the giant piles of life's issues topple over burying me underneath.